sunshine0221's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Amish in the City Amish in the City Last Thursday afternoon my cable television and internet access at home went kaput. Later that evening, upon arriving home, I discovered why. As I was walking along the winding, icy path to the house I tripped over a cable lying across the walk. Then, as I was carefully stepping over a second cable I saw on the ground, yet another cable wrapped itself around my neck. My cable wasn't just not working - it was totally lying on the ground. I kind of blame myself, because the day before I saw the cable people doing something to the cable pole that connects to my house, and my thought was, "Oh great, they're going to mess something up." The cable people apparently responded to my mental suggestion by ripping my cable off the pole. Which also kind of sounds like a euphemism for something dirty. Once in the house I started to freak. I was missing TV shows!! And my email was not being checked!! I started to hyperventilate, and realized I needed someone to talk me down. I thought about calling Kelly, but as she does not have TV, and also has a Mac, she clearly would not understand the gravity of the situation. So I called Tahmi: Me: Hyperventilating and on verge of tears, "My cable is down. I have no TV and no internet!! I feel Amish!! How do they do it???!" Tahmi: (Speaking in the tone of voice you use when trying to calm small children or animals) "Now calm down and take some deep breaths. You'll be okay. What TV Shows are you going to miss?" Me: Still hyperventilating: "North Shore!! And yes I'm embarassed that I watch the show, but James Remar has gone all drug dealer, and I think he's going to get arrested, and I bet he looks sexy in prison clothes. But okay, I guess I can miss this one" Me again: "How do people LIVE without TV or internet access???" Tahmi: "Well actually, I was sitting on the couch reading a book when you called." Me: "Weirdo. And I'm going to miss The OC!! I haven't seen any of this season's episodes yet. This could be an important one!! You know Seth is going to say something really quotable! But, okay I think I'll be okay if I miss it." Tahmi: "Why don't you light some candles, and take a nice relaxing bath?" Me: Thinking about it. Me: "Screw that!!! I want my cable back!!! And I'm going to miss the ER where Abby gets punished for smoking and gets kidnapped by some desperate people who do who-knows-what to her, and I'll never know, because my cable is lying in the YARD!!" Tahmi: "How about I record ER for you?" Me: "That would be GREAT!" So I took some more deep breaths, and sat down and watched one of the oh, 100 hours of TV I have on my TiVo, and the next day the cable people came and reattached the cable. I wish I could say that I learned a valuable lesson, and that I now know that there are more important things than TV, or internet access. But no, I just learned that I am really, really addicted. 11:21 p.m. - January 15, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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