sunshine0221's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Things That Go Through My Head While I Am On Hold for 45 Minutes Waiting to Speak With a Cable Company Service Representative Things That Go Through My Head While I Am On Hold for 45 Minutes Waiting to Speak With a Cable Company Service Representative My cable modem has been iffy for the past few weeks, sometimes completely down, and mostly just crankily half working. And getting someone out to fix these types of problem, who can actually fix these kinds of problems, is as rare and wonderful as Congress deciding that maybe they have meddled in issues that are really none of their business long enough, and that they should go back to doing their real jobs. Yes, that rare. So yesterday, I was overjoyed when the really good service guy arrived while I was home for lunch. He checked everything. He replaced my pasty-white modem with a very similar one, but in a nice black. He redid one of the splitters that was not splitting properly. He is going to get me a new cable box because mine won't do on-demand services. He's a good guy, and yes I want to have his children. But, cue the ominous drums of foreshadowing yet again, he couldn't get the new modem to register. Yesterday evening at approximately 10:55 p.m., my internet access sputtered and went out. I rebooted everything including my refrigerator. I sacrificed chickens to the Cable Modem Gods Nothing worked. As a last resort, I called technical support. Following are my actual thoughts that occurred while I was on hold for 45 minutes: Okay, they are saying there is a service outage in my area. But they said that this morning too, and there wasn't. I think it's an evil plot to get nice, trusting people to hang up, and wait hopefully by their non--internet-connected computer for - like - ever like trusting sheep. So not falling for that. Jesus God, the on hold lady is perky. I bet she gets up early every morning without an alarm and irritates the crap out of everybody. Why, in the name of all that is holy, would I be on hold for 45 minutes at 11 pm on a Wednesday, because I am wondering how to add an additional email account? Do they think their customers are morons? But if I were, I would not appreciate hearing that I can do it online, BECAUSE I CANT GET ONLINE. Okay, I am on hold for internet technical support. Since I am having trouble with it, would that not imply I HAVE the service? And isn't trying to SELL me the service that is not working - well stupid and irritating? If Perky McMorningperson tells me to reboot my modem, complete with idiot-proof instructions, ONE MORE TIME, I am going to track her down and "reboot" her "modem". If you know what I mean. I appreciate that you have so much valuable information available online, BUT I CANT GET ONLINE. My relief at having a human being finally pick up the phone was short-lived. Mostly when I call tech support I get bright, technical people who at least try to help. Boofus told me to reboot my modem. And when I, and may I say very politely, considering that my picture is in the modem rebooting hall of fame, said that I already had, three or four times actually, he said that that was the extent of his expertise. Me: "But what about the fancy diagnostics screen that tells you the exact voltage of my incoming and outgoing signal? What about pinging my modem? What about having me try stuff, even though we both know it won�t work, because dang it, I was on hold for 45 minutes, and I want my money's worth here.!" Boofus: "I can't do any of that. I can have you reboot your modem, and if that doesn't work, I will schedule a service call. In a week. And not the good service call where you have to stay home half a day, the bad kind where you get to stay home ALL day. And I am doing this because you interrupted my poker game when you called, and I was ahead by ten bucks." So I went to bed, and this morning the Mom called tech support, and the problem was that the modem wasn't registered. I believe that Boofus could have helped with that problem had he not been so anxious to get back to his card game. I hope Boofus and Perky Recording Lady meet and get married, and have a bunch of unintelligent, unhelpful, perky children. I think they deserve each other. 12:31 p.m. - March 24, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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