sunshine0221's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No Place Like Home There�s No Place Like Home It all started earlier this week. Kelly called and invited me to a benefit for the SE Iowa Women�s Shelter. They were having a Women for Women concert perfomance thingie � all women performers, and only women attend. A worthy cause, no doubt. I am all for worthy causes, but must confess I had ulterior motives for wanting to see Kelly. I�ve been having PMS for like six weeks now, and the no fail way to force a visit from Aunt Flo is to spend time with Kelly. I explained the urgency of the situation to Kelly, and she said, �Yeah I told my friends that you guys call me the Moon Maiden because of my skill at instigating menstruation�. I jumped in, �Actually we call you The Walking Hormone, or if we�re really cranky, That Bitch That Made Me Get Really Bad Cramps.� And I�m not kidding about Kelly�s skills. Sometimes just a phone call does it. After we spoke, I started to have second thoughts about attending the event. What if it was all cultural? And boring? Kelly said it wouldn�t be, but what does she know, she liked A Room With A View, which I hear has no car chases or explosions. I decided not to back out, because I had promised Kelly, and it would suck if she had to go alone just because of my fear of culture. Spoke with Kelly this afternoon and decided we�d meet there. At 7:00. Which in Kelly time is actually 7:25ish. So around quarter to seven, as I was starting to think about what to wear, I hear something that sounds like a siren. Hmmmmm. I couldn�t check the Weather Channel or local stations because I was recording Lucky, and I didn�t want to upset my TiVo. [Note: I realize that behavior like this could have made me a Darwin Award, but hey Popped over to Mom�s house as more sirens went off. Checked the news and sure enough major tornado warning, and for extra points for apparently a real live tornado sighting right in town. I heard the phone ringing, ran back to my house, and it was Kelly. We decided it would be best to take cover rather than go to the Benefit. Plus Kelly�s kids thought they could see the tornado. Back to mom�s, suggested that we go to the basement. Now my house is old, and the basement is also old, and has spiders, and who knows what else. Mom vetoed the cellar and suggested we hang in her bathroom. I started to argue, then realized I didn�t exactly have a way to get both cats transported to the basement, and did not want to leave them. So I grabbed Spike, and invited Buffy to come with us. She opened one eye and went back to snoozing on the couch. I checked mom�s TV, saw that the warning was in effect until 7:00, and mom and Spike and I sat in mom�s bathroom. She got the good seat, I had to sit on the edge of the bathtub. The sirens kept going off, and I came to the realization that I don�t speak Tornado Siren. I thought it went off once when a tornado was sighted, and then again after everything is okay. Our siren went off seven times. What the heck does that mean? We had 3 and a half tornadoes??? Here is the transcript of the conversation that occurred while sitting in mom�s bathroom. Me: Ummm mom, don�t you want to get dressed? You know we really should go to the basement. Mom: I don�t want to. Me: You�re just wearing your nightgown. What if we get hit? The emergency personnel will, you know, notice that you aren�t exactly dressed. Mom: I think if we get hit that will be the least of my worries. She had a good point. Turned on the radio, and it sounded like the storm was past us. Plus Spike was wearing out his welcome by playing with mom�s necklace. Went back home and Kelly called: Me: So did you really see the tornado???? Kelly: We were all out on the porch filming it, not sure if it was an actual tornado, but it sure looked cool. Me: You know that going outside to look at the tornado is generally not recommended right? Kelly: But it was so cool! Me: I saw on TV that they said to put on a motorcycle helmet, wrap yourself in a blanket, protect your head, and go to a safe place. Kelly: Quite an image huh? Me: Yeah, plus I don�t have a motorcycle helmet. I have a bike helmet. I�m sure it would help, but it would look dorky. Kelly: My Spouse of Kelly laughed when he saw my tornado kit. It�s 3 flashlights, 3 bottles of water, and a big plate of brownies. Me: Because if you�re going to be funnelled into another state, who cares about the calories right? Kelly: Exactly. So I survived the tornadoes, and didn�t have to go to a potentially cultural event. Now I just have to figure out when I can see Kelly so that I don�t have PMS for another six weeks. 10:54 p.m. - May 10, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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