sunshine0221's Diaryland Diary
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Fear, Itself
Fear, Itself
There is an excellent Buffy episode where it's Halloween, and a bunch of people get trapped in a haunted house, and their deepest fears such as being invisible, or alone, or dying a horrible, gruesome death manifest.
At the end of the episode, Gachnar, the fear demon that had been causing the whole kerfluffle, appears.
And he is only six inches tall.
It's priceless to watch the gang realize that their terror has been caused by something so small and insignificant.
And ain't that usually the truth? The fears that I have faced and dealt with are pretty darn insignificant now.
When I was 15 I was stranded in Switzerland with no money and no passport. I spent the night in the ladies room at the airport. I got accused of selling my passport to buy drugs. And when I finally got on a plane it got struck by lightning. Barely a memory now.
I went away to college when I was 16. Nothing scarier than walking into a crowded dining hall and not knowing a single soul. It worked out fine. I made friends, and heck I even graduated.
I survived the scary tram on St. Thomas. I taught myself web design. I've managed 80 people. Not a big deal once you've done it. (Well except for the tram - never going to get on that hanging-by-a-skinny-cable deathtrap again.)
The fears that still seem huge are the ones that I have not faced yet. You know, the ones you can usually get away with not facing - like intimacy, and self expression, and trust.
I think it's about time that I face the fears that are preventing my life from being what I want it to be.
And I'm crossing my fingers that once I do, I will find that they are only six inches tall.
*****
Following is an excerpt from the transcript of Fear, Itself, right after Gachnar has appeared:
Buffy: �This is Gachnar?�
Xander: �Big overture. Little show.�
Gachnar: �I am the dark lord of nightmares! (Buffy tries not to laugh) The bringer of terror! Tremble before me. Fear me!�
Willow laughing: �He � he�s so cute!�
Gachnar: �Tremble!�
Xander bends down: �Who�s a little fear demon? Come on! Who�s a little fear demon!�
Giles: �Don�t taunt the fear demon.�
Xander: �Why, can he hurt me?�
Giles: �No, it�s just � tacky. Be that as it may, Buffy, when it comes to slaying...�
Buffy: �Size doesn�t matter?�
Gachnar: �They�re all going to abandon you, you know.�
Buffy: �Yeah, Yeah.�
We get a shot of Buffy�s huge foot as she stomps down and squishes the fear demon.
8:56 p.m. - December 01, 2002
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