sunshine0221's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Putting the Not in Not Martha Putting the Not in Not Martha Apparently, someone is creating a new reality show to find the next Martha Stewart. I mentioned to Kelly that she should apply. And she suggested that I apply. I hurt myself laughing. I would totally be the William Hung of the show. While the other contestants were making their own furniture out of marzipan and cinnamon sticks, I'd be picking the cat hair out of my deformed marzipan that I somehow got stuck to my pants. While the other contestants where polishing the immaculate faucet in their immaculate kitchen, I'd be wishing that I had a stuff-you-drop-in-the-kitchen colored floor. That self cleans. Frequently. Other contestants: presenting a delicious ten course gourmet meal. Me: wondering if nine triscuits count as nine courses because I overslept, forgot to get all of my ingredients, got distracted by something on the web, had to rearrange my TiVo season passes because of an unfortunate conflict, cut my finger because I was rushing, and finally presenting nine triscuits and some questionable cheese that I found at the back of the meat drawer. I was at a garage sale last weekend, and the woman holding the sale was selling a carpet sweeper, and one of those mini washing machines that were advertised on infomercials a few years ago. She bought them for Y2K because she was afraid we would lose electricity, AND SHE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO CLEAN. Yes folks, while I was stockpiling food and candles, and worrying about shelters letting me bring my dogs and the potential end of the world, the Martha of garage sales was concerned that her carpet would be untidy. I am so humbled. 10:47 p.m. - April 17, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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