sunshine0221's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Feelings Feelings Do you ever have it happen where you have a million things to say, and they all pile up and get stuck, and you can't say anything? That's pretty much what has been going on with me. Most people don't know when my life has gone crazy nuts. I once had a boyfriend say, after we had been dating a few weeks, "I thought you were always happy, but I guess not." Thinking back on that I want to retroactively kick him in his hoohoos. OF COURSE I'm not always happy. NO ONE is ALWAYS happy. What the hell did he think?? I have always admired people who honestly and unapologetically express their emotions. I am not one of them. I am better than I was, but still want to achieve full and immediate honesty. Enough of the thinking of what I should have said a week later. Enough of the thinking I will lose someone�s love or friendship if I am honest with them. One of the things I love about my friend M is that we have worked into a relationship where we are honest with each other. I can tell him when he�s being a jerk. I also of course tell him when he has done something totally amazing. We can tell each other anything and it�s okay. I came across this quote the other day, and George says it better than I ever could: "Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor to measure words but to pour them all out, just as it is, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keeping what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. " George Eliot 9:37 p.m. - July 04, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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