sunshine0221's Diaryland Diary

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Characters Welcome

I love Project Runway, and I also love last season's winner, Jay MCarroll. Jay somehow is able to bring the snark without being mean, and is someone that I you just know would be a blast to hang out with. So when I saw that Bravo was airing a one hour special on Jay, I was so there.

I have huge amounts of respect and admiration for people who know what they want to do, and go for it. Jay did not exactly grow up in an area that I imagine is very accepting of people who are gay, or noncomformists that break the rules and become fashion designers instead of factory workers or farmers. One of the things on the show that made me sad was Jay talking about his dissatisfaction with his body image and appearance. Now for the record here, I would not change one single thing about how Jay looks - which is unconventional, and artsy, and fun. Jay was saying how he wished he were thinner, and more handsome, and then said in the next breath, that if he were he would have had lots more sex and much less personality.

And it really got me thinking about how appearance affects us. Would Jay be boring and normal and work in an office if he were more conventionally attractive? Does not fitting into the mold make someone more creative and interesting? I don't have the answers on that one, and I know gorgeous people that are amazingly creative and interesting, and not so gorgeous people who are dull as mud, but it still makes me wonder.

I can so relate to how Jay feels - as a not skinny, not conventionally beautiful person, there is a hell of a lot of pressure to not accept myself as I am. And while I don't judge or think less of, or hell even notice that when other people don't conform to society's idea of perfection, when it comes to me, I am not so accepting.

And that may be the lesson here. When someone as talented and cool and funny as Jay McCarroll feels that he is somehow lacking because of the way he looks? Well that's just messed up. And while there is nothing wrong with physical beauty, I think the world would be a better place if people felt more pressure to do what they love, and be themselves, than to be a size 2.

P.S. I Supergolded and have comments now!! Feed my ego and leave one!

1:45 p.m. - March 24, 2006

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