sunshine0221's Diaryland Diary

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Best Excuse Ever for Missing Weight Watchers

Best Excuse Ever for Missing Weight Watchers

A few Thursdays ago, I was minding my own business, working away in my office, when I heard some kind of commotion. The next thing I knew, a well-dressed middle-aged woman was being escorted into my office.

My first response was annoyance. Somehow I get all of the phone calls that nobody knows what to do with, and now they're sending everyone who wanders into the office to me as well?

Then I saw the big badge. And discovered that the woman was a Federal investigator, for, well, a Federal agency. Now, I tend to be a law-abiding citizen, and other than a few minor traffic violations, I have not generally spent time with people who carry big, shiny badges.

While on the outside, I was doing my best to appear all calm and cool , on the inside I was peeing myself. First of all, the investigator would not tell me why she was there, other than there was a "reason for her visit". If that isn't sinister, I don't know what is, and she also told me that basically I could not leave until she told me to. My first thought was that I was going to, for the first time ever since joining last March, going to miss my Weight Watchers meeting. My second thought was, that until I had a freaking clue why the Federal inevstigator was there, that missing Weight Watchers may not be my biggest problem.

My coworkers at some point realized that it might be a good idea for my boss, who normally works at home in the mornings, to come into the office. And they told him the FBI was there. Which is pretty hilarious, as the woman was not from the FBI, and I am sure there could be something a company could do to inspire a visit from the FBI, but I am not sure what. So my poor boss rushes into the office, thinking we are all going to arrested or something.

It was THREE HOURS before the investigator finally told us why she was there. Turns out her agency is investigating every company that sells two particular essential oils, which may legally need to have child-proof caps. It was a huge relief, worst case scenario is that we need to buy some child-proof caps.

By the middle of the afternoon, the investigator and I had bonded. I told her about missing Weight Watcher's and she apologized, and I told her I would hold her responsible if I gained any weight. I acquired a big long list of documentation that was needed, and was given a few extra days to provide it after explaining that I had a big day of shopping and sushi planned for the next day. Seems that even Federal agents understand the importance of shopping and sushi.

So all's well that ends well - I get to add to my list of Federal agencies I have had to deal with in the course of my employment, and have decided that when I grow up, I want a job that involves carrying a big, shiny badge.

10:31 p.m. - September 19, 2006

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