sunshine0221's Diaryland Diary

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Cat Entry # 2387

Cat Entry # 2387

Last week I lined up all three cats and informed them that the next time any of their furry butts got hurt or sick they would immediately be replaced by dogs.

This was precipitated by:

1. Morris getting in a really scary fight. My friend who lives across the street called me in the middle of the night because there was a major cat argument happening in my front yard. I ran outside, barefoot and spiffily dressed in my nightgown, quickly armed myself with a yucca stem, and discovered that Morris was fighting with his doppelganger. I could not tell who was Morris and who was NotMorris. After much yelling, which was completely ignored, and yucca stick poking, the Cat Olson Twins separated.

Meanwhile my neighbor had come over - she was spiffily dressed in her bathrobe - and informed me that one of the cats was kind of chubby.

"That's MORRIS!", I exclaimed, "Morris is CHUBBY!!".

My delight at being able to identify my cat was shortlived as he decided to re-attack NotMorris.

I had the brilliant idea to shake the cat food jar, which made His Chubbiness decide to quit brawling and come in the house for a snack.

I made sure all of Morris's kitty body parts were attached, decided that even though he was limping his leg was not broken, and gave him another snack.

We all went to bed, and had a vet visit the next morning where antibiotics were dispensed, and Morris was sent home to recuperate.

He is fine now, and wants to point out that he kicked NotMorris's fuzzy ass, and if any other cats are even thinking of seting one paw in his yard, well they had just better think again.

2. After months of peeing just fine, Spikey got blocked again. And the catheter didn't fix it this time.

So he had to have the surgery where his little penis gets removed. So that he can pee.

He spent a week in the hospital wing of the house (aka bathroom). I held him, and read him stories, and sympathized that his Soft-E-Collar was kinda metrosexual, and promised that next time I'll make sure he gets a collar with pictures of something manly like barbed wire or dead mice on it instead of colorful fishies.

Spike has been extra sweet and cuddly, possibly concerned that if he is not good I'll have something else cut off.

He is supposed to get his stitches out tomorrow, and we are both counting the days until he is all better.

3. Buffy, due to the stress of living with a cat that looks like Spike, but who smells funny and has some kind of prehistoric thing growing out of his neck, got a temporary case of kitty anorexia. Every time she would start to eat, Spike would walk over to see what was happening, and Buffy would get her extremely alarmed look, hiss up a storm, and want to go outside.

She's finally eating again, and is being less of a hiss-monster.

Oh, and not one single cat was the least bit concerned by my threat.

7:41 p.m. - April 12, 2004

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